I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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