She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
