I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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