Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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