I got chris browned last night
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
