glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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