its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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