so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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