I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
