it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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