the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
