physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
