There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
