the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I will pee on everything he values.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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