If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
