it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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