I wanna passion pit in your ass
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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