well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She even gives head with a lisp.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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