I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i out mim tonsoeep
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
