I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
