i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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