she was so not down for the gang bang
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
