Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
