i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
