Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
