After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
