Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
