Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
