A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You left your phone here
Wait...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
