the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
