Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
