Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
