dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
