apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
