i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
should my penis look like a turkey
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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