It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize