I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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