U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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