Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
