i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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