I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
