we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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