The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Oh god it's open bar.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
