im about as happy as oj after his trial
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
