I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize