she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
