At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I deserve this hangover.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
