so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
