we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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