If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize