He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
