i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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