he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
