Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
