Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
