i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
