So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I could fuck to npr.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
