I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them βrobitsβ
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize
