I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
