WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
