What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
