make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
COCAINE IS GR8
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
