Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
