so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
