I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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