the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
